Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Disappearing Acts: How Writing Saved My Life

Transparency and vulnerability, two ingredients you need as a writer. I've been writing for about ten years now. One thing I 've learned through my writing is that being transparent and vulnerable on the page cleanses the soul. For me, writing is a very therapeutic process where its okay to express yourself in any formation. There are no obstacles to overcome or secrets to with hold when I leave the words on the page. In writing I am free and expressive. It is possibly one of the most rewarding feelings I have ever experienced.

For most of my life I lived in a shell literally and figuratively. I was always very quiet and cautious throughout my childhood and in my ladder adult years. I was afraid. Afraid of my voice. Afraid of what people thought of me and I would often invalidate my own thoughts. After all, no one cared or so I would assume. For most of my life I was content with just floating my way through life. After all, it worked. I never ruffled feathers at work, school, or in my personal relationships. Other people were happy so I assumed or pretended to be as happy.

The beauty of life is that although we assume we are playing it safe or by the rules. You have to prepare for the unexpected. For a long time I suffered in silence because my fear crippled me. Success meant change. Change meant exposure and new settings. Fear has a funny way of making you comfortable in the most unconventional circumstances. In the back of my mind I knew I wanted to do something with my life. What exactly?  I had an epiphany when I realized I was an obsessive reader. Like I would check out books in the local library in absurd amounts and never bring them back. Trust me, the library fees eventually caught up to me. But, my passion for reading exposed me to a more vivid world than the one I existed in.  My first attempt at writing was horrible. But, as bad as my writing was I never gave up. The desire to change my life saved my life. For me writing catapulted me into a position where it is okay to be vulnerable and transparent. Why? Because so many people go through life without ever sharing their story or discovering their true passion in life. I am lucky enough to have discovered both. To be vulnerable opens you up for growth and the possibility to grow to new heights that you never imagined. As I work hard on my debut novel, so many people have identified with my main character dilemma. A woman searching for her place in the world, a midst all of the chaos around her. Readers will discover a multi-layered character that reflects humanistic qualities and flaws that we all face to overcome. I want readers to know that you can be the champion of your life if you choose that road for yourself. Apart of being a writer is living your thoughts on a page and hoping someone swallows them up whole and comes out on the other side of things with a fresh perspective. Reading and writing saved my life. Gave me a life jacket when I felt like I was drowning in a bottomless pit. Take the leap. Save your life by following your dreams. Be transparent and vulnerable as possible because your life may seem like a story to you. But, it can also be the reason someone gives tomorrow another try.

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